Thought

As I sit here mind reeling racing
Uncertain of the future
I know that at any moment you can be taken away. But at the same time how can you have thoughts that the world and almost everyone in it would benefit from the removal of me from this world.
The people that I love and would miss me would have a gigantic burden lifted from their shoulders. At least then I could be remembered for a positive life. That being said.....NO I do not have a death wish no I am not going to off myself. I have seen first hand what that does. I just can not seem to shake the thought of "why didn't I die?" the birth of my son would have never happened is the biggest reason. It is just hard because in the past few years I have done nothing but dig us deeper. This is the point where most reach for religion. In my life I have reached out several times to no result or peace.
Now I know I am lucky to survive the things I have or had someone watching over me. But how about when my friend took his own life? Or how about when my best friend has a daughter stricken with disease and only to live until 8 years old.
What plan is there in that? Or another friend in a wreck very similar to mine. He doesn't survive. While in the hospital he kept my spirits up. But I don't get to return the favor. Now explain to me what "gods plan" is in all of that? I don't want to denounce or put down religion just please see how I don't have much faith in it.

He just might

Sometimes

Sometimes you just feel like this guy.

Wednesday

Something I threw together yesterday
Trying to write less sad things.


You put your nose to the grindstone
You gotta see things through
Will power determination
Make a man out of you
Keep things in always in perspective
Don't let the dream start to fade
Don't let the assholes try to talk you out of The decisions you made

Keep your head up
Your shoulders back
Now raise both your fists
It's time to attack!!!!!

Thought of the day

I'm far from perfect
I'm Not even close
Check your reflection
And the life that you chose
You don't really know me
I know you the same
The difference is
I won't throw you under that train.

Saturday may 5th

The band I'm (SECONDARY) in played a show in Hillsboro at the colony theater.
Was a great time and look forward to many more
check out www.wearesecondary.com

Hardcore

Monday

What does it mean?

Do you ever just sit around and wonder what does it all mean? People will tell you that things happen for a reason or there is some kind of amazing lesson yet to be learned. I try to give that the benefit of the doubt but why is it I see good people trying I mean REALLY trying to make the best of a rough situation. Then on the other side of the coin this absolute piece of garbage is living life with no worries, no problems,
Completely content and satisfied. Believe what you will but I think it is crap. I don't expect to be wealthy.
Would just like to have less worry.
I do count my lucky stars I mean I probably shouldn't be here. I am so glad to be to see my first born this year. It Is an amazing feeling.
My gripe is I want to know how some people can just make things work with little to no worry or effort. Whereas I work 6 days a week and my wife works a crazy night shift schedule (while 6mo pregnant now) yet there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I am a good person I do good deeds I help those that need help. Hate to seem ungrateful but why the hell am I here
If I just make ill decisions and cost my family more money?

2-11-12 mainstay rock bar

Nice to take a break from the stress and see some local (Cincinnati local) music another tragedy, a continuous now, and the reason for my trip mad Anthony. 2 years ago I saw these guys open for toadies and was instantly hooked on the energy. Then in 2010 while in the Miami valley trauma center I made all kind stupid requests for them to play shows at my house even though I wasn't even there. Morphine is a crazy drug. Anyways was a great show and a huge thanks to ringo (their singer) real nice dude and look forward to seeing him in the boro. It is a small world. :) anyway I have a video from last night hope you dig!

Heres to you Justin!

Nate AKA OK Nate with his tribute to a fallen GoFast brother Justin McMullen who passed away this past year.
Hope the wind is in your face and we will all have a R4YL in the afterlife!

Aint it the truth

New Annas Army sticker

Of course Winston thinks he is going for a ride....LOL

2012 GoFast formal

Made it up to hang at GF headquarters last night. Good times! I didn't get many pics.

For truffles

pics from the hospital

Here are a couple more shots.
I'm going to start posting more here and far less on book face

Recovering

Sitting here at home. Feels good to know that the pain I am in now will be over and my ass will be back to my dumb self shortly!